Thursday, September 27, 2012

From the deep cesspool of my dilemma

 At 25 one is supposed to be highly in charge of one's life. You could say that I am, in parts. Like I know what I definitely don't want. But as far as the 'what I want' dilemma is concerned, I am absolutely haphazardly so very ridiculously not in tune.
My boyfriend told me that the moment he had seen me at the Calcutta airport he knew something was not right. I did not have my bright cheeriness in place. Instead, I was irritated and with an increasingly biting temper. That's TRUE. That's mainly because it was breezy and beautiful at the Mumbai airport when I was nursing my heart wrench at four in the morning. At ten, when I landed , it was a sweaty burning hellhole here in Calcutta. The transition was making me snappy and sarcastic. Although i was absolutely overjoyed at the sight of my guy and my hormones were going crazy every time he held my hand.

One Saturday evening at a time he introduced me to all his friends. Absolute fun people. And when we are alone we go to shopping malls and watch movies and hang  out and he  drinks and i smoke up and its all very perfect.
Butwhen i eventually got this job is when i actually realized what i was missing from Mumbai. plus I absolutely hate living here. My parents are bickering all the time; which I presume out of my maturity is their special way of showing love for each other. But what I really miss that thing about staying on your own in your own place. Where you can live the way you want to.

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Come back to Mumbai !

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